Ok, I'll preface this by saying that personally, I rather enjoy Europeans, they're usually polite and courteous. As long as they are outside of a restaurant environment. But you take one and drop him into a restaurant and you get a shitty tipping, cigarette smoking, espresso drinking cock sucker. So I thought I'd break down the typical European diner.
Your average male Euro walks into the restaurant in some sort of sweater and jeans combination, capris may be worn as well, with hair that badly needs to be washed and cut, has a nine o'clock shadow and is probably wearing stupid artsy glasses. He will speak to the server as though he feels he is doing said server a favor just by deigning to speak. He will not know what he wants to order, and oftentimes doesn't even know what he is ordering, but he will be a haughty douchenugget about the whole thing. He will ask his server whether it's ok to smoke, his server will obviously say no, citing the California smoking ban in restaurants. He will grumble about not being able to ruin everyone else's meal with his cigarette smoke (I smoke too, so don't jump on me for being anti-ciggy. I just think it's gross to eat and smoke). His food will sit untouched on his plate for at least fifteen minutes while he chats with his tablemates, he will then complain about it being cold. He will complain about the lack of beers from wherever the fuck it is lives while not in America. He will order espresso and complain about it. To sum up, he will bitch and whine about everything.
Your typical European woman is also a giant pain in the ass for many of the same reasons the men are, but there are differences. The European woman dresses very similarly to the European man, unless she is German. Then she will refuse to wear a bra and wear clothing that barely hides this fact. Now, I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but more often than not, bitch ain't cute. She will not be ready to order when the rest of the table is, even though she's had fifteen minutes to look over the menu. In fact, she will only be ready to order drinks when the rest of the table is ordering dinner, so the server will have to stand there while she asks approximately 382 questions about the menu and the ingredients. European women are excellent at wasting a server's time.
When the typical European man meets the typical European woman the two of them will inevitably sit at your table for upwards of three hours, sipping espresso and smelling bad. They will be rude to you. They will have no concept of time, so they will stay at their table for an entire dinner service, eating up that table for the rest of the night, costing their server all the tips he would have made off said table. The typical Euro table also does not feel the need to leave the restaurant at closing time, meaning their server has to stay and wait for them to get the fuck out. When they do finally leave, there will be, at most, a ten percent tip.
In conclusion, fuck Europe.
