Children

I work at a family friendly restaurant, with kid friendly food, so I have to deal with a large number of children on a daily basis.  Little kids, babies, preteens, teenagers, lots of kids, which is fine, I totally understand that you want to have a meal with your kids, a little family bonding.  It's downright wholesome.  The problem is many children are sniveling, spoiled little brats, especially here in Davis.  Oftentimes, the child, especially the little ones, wants to order their own food, and will proceed to shout their order at me from the time I first show up at the table to introduce myself and get drink orders until I actually get around to taking their order for dinner.  Look kid, I know you want to be a big kid and you're all independent and shit, but just shut up.  Please, just shut up.  I know you want a fucking hot dog, you've now informed of that fact approximately 937 times.  And I want to stab you in the eye with my pen.  Mom and Dad aren't off the hook on this one either, why don't you tell your little mongoloid to shut his fucking mouth and be polite?  My parents would have killed me if I'd have acted that way in a restaurant.  But you know what really pisses me off?  When they bring Cheerios or some other small cereal type food product along.  I don't care that the kid isn't ordering off the menu, I don't count them as real people in the first place and kid's food is so cheap that it doesn't add that much to the total bill.  But I know, when they leave there are going to be Cheerios fucking everywhere.  You know who has to clean that shit up?  Me.  Clean up after your kids when you leave you irresponsible, overly permissive piece of shit.  And you better tip to make up for the fact that I'm going to have to spend five minutes sweeping cereal off the floor.

On a side note, leaving G St. tonight, went down the alley and walked straight into two people having sex on the ground.  Classy, very classy.  I'm sure your parents are just bursting with pride.